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Autism

Dear Black Son, I won’t turn my back on you.

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I forgot to mention!!!!!

In the 21 Days I will be consistent with my workout routine making it a new habit. I will be breaking my bad habit of eating unhealthy foods and eating late at night. Well I will eat things in moderation, which I do, come to think of it. It’s just when I’m emotional or exhausted I can tend to overeat in snacks.

I will also be consistent with my meditation routine, writing my blog, and working on my goals. I swear I get so entangled with the lives of others I don’t tend to my goals the way I should be.

I will write later about Day 1 and a Recap of D2!!!

Hope everyone is having a Great Day!

Blessings

Wish me Luck!!

Keena's Moments

21 Days Update

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I was pretty poetic back then. I still am. I just have written that way in a while. Recently, I was looking over Justin’s Birthday’s over the years and I found his first Birthday Thank You Card. I was a new mom didn’t have much money so I needed to cut cost. I was very creative and always had ideas. So I decided to make the Thank you cards instead of buying them and having to mail them out. I created a Poem, took Justin’s sneaker and placed his sneaker print inside the card and gave them a picture of him. Everyone loved it. They couldn’t believe I wrote the card and came up with it. People thought my mom did it being that she’s so creative as well. But it was all my handy work. 😊

Check it out below.

Justin at his first birthday party. It was a cookout. He was teething. He never cried or fussed, he just grabbed the ice and calmed his gums.

His 1 year old pic. We took this at Sears Portrait Studio. They fell in love with his smile. He loved smiling and taking pictures back then. Now! I can forget about taking a picture.

The Thank You Card, The picture above went inside the Card

The Sneaker Print.

The Message! ❤️💙

BELIEVE IT!

I AM ONE NOW

FORGET ABOUT THE PAST

WHEN I WAS JUST A BABY

YOU THOUGHT I WAS

SO CUTE AND SWEET

I COULDN’T WAIT FOR

THOSE DAYS TO BE OVER

BECAUSE I JUST LOVE

TO GET INTO EVERYTHING

I USE TO HEAR

OOHS! AND AHHS!

NOW I HEAR

NO’s AND UH OH’S

YOU MAY NOT HAVE

SEEN ME IN ACTION

SO I LEFT MY PRINT

FOR YOU TO IN VISION

THE B E A UTIFUL

SOUNDS OF MY

MOMMY SCREAMING

Written by Keena White 2004

The card. I had Justin help me color it by holding his hand. I originally wanted to use his foot print but Justin wasn’t fond of soft textures. So, the original plan didn’t pan out however I think the back up one came out well.

Oh the memories.

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Autism

Justin’s 1st Birthday Thank You Card

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The odds of her arriving on her due date are very rare but she is here. She was born on her cousins birthday, who’s mom happens to be her fathers twin.

8/30/17 Kennedi Rae

8/30/03 Justin Aryn

Their Parents Keith and Keena. I some how didn’t smile until I got older.

Autism

Meet Kennedi Rae

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Some decisions are hard to make but when you make your finally decision. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you made the decision for you.

Justin had a hard decision to make two weeks ago. He wanted to join Marching Band for his first year of High School. Yup! I now have a high school student. He missed several practices in July due to going home for the summer with his Dad. So August 14 was his first day of March Band Camp, it was a long day and boy oh boy, was he exhausted. He complained and I calmly listened and told him to think about things and give Marching Band a chance at least for the first week. He agreed, prepared for the next day and then got ready for bed.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up in the morning. Couldn’t put my finger on exactly why I was feeling that way until both Justin and I walked out the door. You see, marching band practice is right in our backyard. Well his old school is, it’s so close it only takes Justin two minutes to get there. As I’m walking to the car, Justin is walking to practice, my mommy radar kicked in on high alert. I knew I had to remain calm because he was in a crisis and he needed help deciding what to do.

So I took a deep breath and asked him what’s wrong. He said ” I’m late and I don’t want to get in trouble”, he’s breathing really fast while he’s saying this. He’s also hiding so they can’t see him. I said okay, “what would you like to do?”, He said ” I want to go home, I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” I gave him a hug and told him to go home and relax and to not worry about things I’ll email the teacher. He thanked me about a millions times 😊.

I emailed the teacher letting her know about Justin’s feelings, she asked if we can meet and I agreed. Before we can meet the teacher Justin received so many text messages from his band mates. Some messages was nice and some not so nice. I was pissed because these messages was making Justin’s decision even harder to make. I’ll admit so of his mates were supportive while others were very mean.

When I mentioned this to the Marching Band Teacher it was passed off as just kids being kids. I get that but we need to teach our children to be supportive and to not make other children feel bad about making decisions for their future. After talking to his past Band Teacher and now his current teacher Justin decided to stay.

He made the decision on his own. I took his phone away so he can clearly think without the criticism or judgment. I listened to his feelings and reservations about being apart of marching band. He was happy with his decision and for now decided to only do it this school year.

I’m proud he made the best decision for him.

Autism

Making Decision

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So, I've been told I talk too much. Which is true at times. It all depends on who I'm around or my comfort level. If I am not comfortable I won't say a word. If I am then you'll hear my mouth. I won't talk your ear off but I'll definitely like to hold a conversation.

Now, when asked to talk in front of a crowd of people my FEAR keeps my 🤐 SHUT. I would find ways to get out of having to talk to a room full of people. I can't say that I don't know why it is because I do. It all stems from my childhood. Hell, everything stems from our childhood or tragic moment, doesn't it. Im Just saying.

My fear of public speaking began when I was in the 3rd Grade. I'll admit it, I was a talker. I didn't shut up for nothing. I participated in plays. I was one of the first ones to raise my hand because I knew the answers, I always wanted to read for the class. I enjoyed expressing what I knew until it got me into trouble. When it was time for Parent Teacher Conferences my teacher told my mom the only issue she has with me is that I TALK TOO MUCH! My mother wasn't so happy with me. She gave me a long talk and told me to " Stop running your mouth in class, school is for you to learn not just for you to be running your mouth"

So, I listened and I stopped talking. My confidence went down. I didn't want to participate in any school plays or class room activities. My participation grade dropped drastically from that point on. Each school year it got worse. Even in college it was hard to do presentations because I became a nervous wreck when it came to talking in front of a class.

I remember being put into a class because they thought something was wrong with me. I was pulled out for some type of class. I believe it was a english or reading class where we had to read and go over things. It wasn't that I didn't know the work I just didn't have the drive to do it anymore. I didn't want to be the motor mouth or know it all anymore.

One year I was placed in a spelling bee challenge because I passed all my spelling test and I knew all the words. However, we had to go on a stage and prove in front of the entire school. I purposely spelled Spaghetti wrong so that I can sit down. I was laughed at because I spelled it wrong and boy oh boy I wasn't able to live it down. Little did they know I spelled it wrong on purpose. I knew all the words that was presented. I would have won the trophy but what was the point.

I know that sucks but it's what I told myself to make it through school (What was the point) . I still got good grades and made the Honor Roll but the one thing I didn't do well at anymore was classroom participation. In college I kinda made up for it because I had to talk but I made sure I sat in the back and I wasn't as noticeable. I'd do presentations first only so that I can get them over with. During a presentation my body goes through an anxiety attack. First it starts with my heart racing, followed by sweaty hands. Then, my mouth gets extremely dry. I can barely talk. I want to run and hide. It seems like time has slowed down and everyone is judging me. I can't take everyone looking at me. So I talk faster and faster. The professors always say " Keena slow down and take your time" I'd slow down briefly and then I speed up just so I can sit down and feel normal again.

My fear still remains the same. I still talk but like I said not as much and only when I'm comfortable. I plan on shifting my fear and talking as much as I want to so that I can educate people. I feel that speaking is apart of my life and who I am. I know it may bother some while others appreciate it. I don't talk to talk annoy people. I talk to express myself like everyone else

Slowly but surely I will reduce my fears. I will speak in front of large crowds and I will not care what others think. I'm here for a reason and Speaking is apart of my Purpose

Be You! Live Your Purpose! Overcome Your Fears!

Autism

Overcoming A Fear of Speaking ….But I Talk Too Much

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Today, We decided to food shop, clean, relax, play games, go to the movies, and do lunch. Which won't be all in that order but it's going to take place today.

He's so much taller than I am. I miss him being my size or smaller. I'm glad he's back home. I've missed him being home. He came back a little anxious about school and friendships but we worked out his worries. I make sure I make it easy for him to come to me with anything he has going on in his mind. I try my best not to be his therapist but be his Mom with a lot of understanding.

He appreciates it. I'm glad my own personal and professional growth has changed me enough to be a better person for him.

He will always be one of my reasons why I do what I do. I love being his Mom 😊

The Emoji Movies was good. Go Check it out.

Autism

Mother & Son

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