In life everything is a give and take or some form of trade off. If there is no equal give and take, or trade off then then an unbalance occurs. When an unbalance occurs, balance seeks order. It’s seeks order not to control but so that all things are fair.

I’m feeling a little off balanced. I have been feeling this way for a few months now. I realized why this week and I’m finally starting to do something about it. I haven’t focused on myself the way I should be. I’ve been focused on being there for people emotionally and physically that I have stopped being there for myself. I cannot fault or blame them for my feelings of unbalance simply because I allow it. I allow my need for always wanting to be there for others overshadow what I need to do for myself.

My goal now is to get balanced and focus on me.

Happy Saturday!

Are you balanced?!

Keena's Moments

Balance

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So here’s an update of my progress.

So far I’m down 4lbs in 8 days. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ. I’m very proud of myself. I believed I’ve hit a plateau but I guess I did not. I’m glad to see progress no matter how small it is. So I am now 232. My goal is 210 by my birthday in 27 days. I may not reach the goal by my target ๐ŸŽฏ date but it will be reached no matter what. I won’t give up on myself.

I still have been eating late and that’s only because I haven’t been eating much during the day. But I have been working out, Meditating, and Practicing Mindfulness daily. It feels good to be consistent with things and make the changes I wish to make for myself.

Continue to wish me luck!!! I’ll be back with an update in a few day

Keena's Moments

Day 8 of 21 days.

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" I'm proud of you"… Not to many people will let you know that they are proud of you. Because you accomplish so much they feel that you should automatically be proud of yourself. It's not that you're not proud of yourself. It sometimes just mean the world to hear it from those you love, care about, or is proud of too. To hear these words from a good friend meant the world to me today. It wasn't much but it was everything. My friendship with this person reminded me of why I push so hard to be where I am today and where I will be in the future. I refuse to give up. It's okay to let people know you're rooting for them and you're proud of them. We don't say it enough to each other.

Autism, Keena's Moments, quotes, Reflections

I’m Proud

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Today I got to be there for a friend I haven't spoken to in years. We were the best of friends and still is. I did feel some type of way because we haven't spoke and I've always reached out and never heard back from her. After, speaking to her today I now understand why. She truly had a lot going on and allowed her Pride to get the best of her. I share her struggle because I too at times allow my pride to get the best of me. I listened as she shared with me what's going on. I provided her with words of encouragement and let her know that I love her and will always be there for her.

You truly never know what a person is going through no matter how much you think you know them.

It's nice being able to listen without Judgement and to be fully present and there for a person.

Keena's Moments

Be There

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The word Change has been a common theme in my life since Spring. I made many changes since then and many changes have occurred. I took my health into my hands and lost over 60lbs, I ended a relationship, I lost my dad, I’m still grieving over the lost of a dear friend whom I miss very much,  a good friend of mine moved to another state, I met my fathers side of the family for the first time, and I made a mends with someone I disliked. There  are more changes that has taken place in my life and at first I didn’t accept them but I do now. I realized that I’m changing and as I change the things and people around me will change. 

Who likes changes?  

That quote up above โ˜๐Ÿฝspeaks to my current changing situation. I’m letting people go as I change.  I’m seeing that my season with some people has come to an end. We served our purpose in each other’s lives and now it’s time to let go. 

By the way love hurts to an extent and life does go on. 

When I was a little girl  my mom would say to me when I told her I have a new friend.

” You don’t have friends you have acquaintances” 

I didn’t understand at that time what it meant. I do now. I discovered it this year that:

Acquaintances come and go or stay forever depending upon the relationship you have with them. Friends are rare and few. Friends accept and ride through the storms with you. They make sure you’re aware, tells you the truth, and accept you. They don’t put you down for their own personal gain. Acquaintances do. Acquaintances come in all forms. They can be people who you interact with daily. It doesn’t mean that they are your friend. 

Think about it………….. 

Years ago I hated changes. I would cry and get upset when a change happened because I was not in control. It was all about control for me ten years ago. I had to control every aspect of my life because if I didn’t an unwanted unexpected event or thing would happen. I hated that with a passion. However, through trials I’ve learned how to deal with those changes. Not everything is going to be perfect and go the way you want them to. I learned how to go with the flow of my changes. I stopped fighting the currents of my waves. When I learned how to go with flow life got much easier. Life could have also gotten easier because I was a psych major at the time  and learned a lot about people. While learning about human behavior and why we do what we do. I learned about myself. Don’t get me wrong I’m still learning and have more changes to go through but I know my past changes helped me get to where I am today. 

Change is also a theme in many of my friends life. As well as family members. Come to think about it change is a constant theme in every ones life. I’m seeing people placing themselves repeatedly in a situation and change is not occurring (I’ve done that before and maybe doing it now ๐Ÿค”)…Some people don’t make changes due to fear, control, not knowing what’s next, being lazy,  and lack of faith.  Sometimes you have to be the change in order for things to change. You have to change your thinking. You have to change who you confide in. Change your friends/circle. You have to change your environment. You have to change whatever needs to be changed in order for things to flow. 

As a new friend said to me last week (I’m sure my mom would say he’s an acquaintance ..lol… Time will tell). 

” This is your journey, embrace it and love it”; ” Sometimes you have to lose things to gain more” 

I’m embracing my journey and is falling in love with it. I’m ready to lose so that I can gain more. 

Think about the changes in your life. Are you ready to make them? 

Check out these quotes about changes. 

psychology

Changeย 

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Reflections

A Mother’s Love

In honor of Mother’s Day, I decided to write a post thanking the many moms in my life who supported me during my hardest times.  Justin’s diagnosis was not something I took easily. It was some of the hardest news I had to take. Although, sometimes  I thought I was alone on my journey, somehow I always knew that I had a support team like no other. Thank You Fellow Moms!!

First,  I would like to thank my mother. She stood by side no matter what I went through. She listened even when I didn’t speak, but knew exactly what I needed. She’s the confidant that both Justin and I need. I love the relationship she has with Justin. Since his birth she’s always protected him. However, since his diagnosis, she has been his bodyguard. She made sure no harm whatsoever was inflicted on him. Because of her love, she is his best friend. She’s his go to person. He loves her just as much as I do. She is, as I call her, “The love of his life”.

Next, I would like to thank my sisters. They were both moms before me. I’m the youngest sister. I learned a lot about motherhood from watching them with their children. I also learned by playing the auntie role. When Justin was diagnosed they both were there in their own way. They provided me with support that I will never forget. They were my strength during the times I did not want to be strong. They encouraged me when I needed encouraging. They stepped in while I was in school studying for my Bachelors and Masters. I’m so grateful for them.

Now, I would like to thank my aunts, female cousins, and girlfriends for being distantly there. They knew how to be there by giving me my space. Because I am not that open with my  feelings, they knew time is what I needed most. I needed time to myself to process what I was going through. Talking about it only would make me feel worse.  So, I preferred not to speak until now. Again, I thank my aunts, cousins, and friends for being there to listen for when I was ready to talk.

Finally, I send a special thank you to the moms Iโ€™ve had a chance to meet and converse with thus far. It was these random talks that helped me reflect on my life. I realized how blessed I was and still am. I realize things might have gone completely differently had a chose a other ways of handling things. I am truly grateful for each moment and each person. Thank you!

Happy Mothers Day!!

Justin and My Mom   

 

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