My sister is living in her purpose and has become a photographer. Today Justin will have a photo shoot with her capturing all of emotions he goes through throughout the day. I didn’t tell him about until Just now and boy oh boy I can feel the anxieties flowing.

He’s like:

What is it for?

What do I have to do?

Is this for the blog?

What emotions should I do?

I’m sure in his mind he’s really like, you pulled me out of Band practice for this! When I told him it was for a project, he said okay. But I can still feel his anxiety. I’m very mindful of what I say and how I say things to him. I don’t dismiss my emotions because I’m entitled to feel the way I do they same way I allow him to express them.

On another note. Wish us Luck! Today will be a great day because I Believe it will be. 😊

Autism

Photo Shoot Project

Image

This is my painting. It doesn’t have a name. It started out as a flower and then it ended up this way. I was reflecting and painting based off the day my client had.

My client was really stressed out after school. So we decided to paint a picture. It helped my client calm down and open up about their day. My client really enjoyed the activity. I did have something else in my to work on but sometimes you have to improvise and go with the mood of the day.

My client felt better and open up like a Butterfly 🦋…

Here’s my client painting. Titled: “Lines”

Happy Friday Everyone!!

Autism

Art Therapy.

Image

When growing  up you learn how to make patterns. You learn how to make simple patterns to complex patterns. You make short patterns even long ones. You make extended patterns and even make a new pattern.

What’s the use of patterns? Think about it. 🤔How often do we use patterns? ❤️💙❤️💙❤️

Does the knowledge of patterns prepare us for the patterns we endure in life.

Now in life we experience patterns. We experience many patterns. We can go through simple patterns like the ones we learn in school and this can consist of our thinking, daily routines , how we handle small situations, and the little quirks about us. Then we have our more complex patterns and these patterns, are our relationships, money, and life. The complex patterns happen as we get older. We can choose to add on to these patterns, omit from them or create an entirely new pattern.

These past few months the theme around me seem to be breaking and creating new patterns. I’ve been breaking patterns and habits and so have many of my friends as well as clients. I’ve found that many people repeat patterns because the outcome is always the same making it familiar and easy to manage. Some people don’t want to break these patterns because of it’s familiarity. What is familiar, helps us feel safe and secure. It’s because we know what’s next.

I use to love familiarity. Always knowing what was happening next helped me be in control. So repeating wasn’t so bad as long as I knew the outcome and I was in control. However, I realized it was a problem, because of this pattern I didn’t know how to adapt to new things being placed on my path. I’d have panic attacks and start thinking the worse possible things ever. I’d cry for days, wanted to be alone, and didn’t know how I was going to adapt. I realized that I needed to change and to learn new patterns of thinking. It all started with my thinking. Once I changed my thinking I changed my patterns. I added and omitted what was or wasn’t working. I felt like a new person. I love change now and love creating new patterns.

There are some patterns I still repeat because I haven’t quite changed that part of thinking that controls this particular behavior. But once I change my thinking, I will create a new behavior and then add to my pattern.

Some patterns are okay to repeat but it must be healthy patterns. Understand that Opportunities may be missed if you stay in a pattern because of its predictability.  If you want change, change your patterns that causes unwanted behaviors.

psychology, Reflections, spirituality

Patterns 

Image

Some decisions are hard to make but when you make your finally decision. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you made the decision for you.

Justin had a hard decision to make two weeks ago. He wanted to join Marching Band for his first year of High School. Yup! I now have a high school student. He missed several practices in July due to going home for the summer with his Dad. So August 14 was his first day of March Band Camp, it was a long day and boy oh boy, was he exhausted. He complained and I calmly listened and told him to think about things and give Marching Band a chance at least for the first week. He agreed, prepared for the next day and then got ready for bed.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up in the morning. Couldn’t put my finger on exactly why I was feeling that way until both Justin and I walked out the door. You see, marching band practice is right in our backyard. Well his old school is, it’s so close it only takes Justin two minutes to get there. As I’m walking to the car, Justin is walking to practice, my mommy radar kicked in on high alert. I knew I had to remain calm because he was in a crisis and he needed help deciding what to do.

So I took a deep breath and asked him what’s wrong. He said ” I’m late and I don’t want to get in trouble”, he’s breathing really fast while he’s saying this. He’s also hiding so they can’t see him. I said okay, “what would you like to do?”, He said ” I want to go home, I don’t think I want to do this anymore.” I gave him a hug and told him to go home and relax and to not worry about things I’ll email the teacher. He thanked me about a millions times 😊.

I emailed the teacher letting her know about Justin’s feelings, she asked if we can meet and I agreed. Before we can meet the teacher Justin received so many text messages from his band mates. Some messages was nice and some not so nice. I was pissed because these messages was making Justin’s decision even harder to make. I’ll admit so of his mates were supportive while others were very mean.

When I mentioned this to the Marching Band Teacher it was passed off as just kids being kids. I get that but we need to teach our children to be supportive and to not make other children feel bad about making decisions for their future. After talking to his past Band Teacher and now his current teacher Justin decided to stay.

He made the decision on his own. I took his phone away so he can clearly think without the criticism or judgment. I listened to his feelings and reservations about being apart of marching band. He was happy with his decision and for now decided to only do it this school year.

I’m proud he made the best decision for him.

Autism

Making Decision

Image

So, I've been told I talk too much. Which is true at times. It all depends on who I'm around or my comfort level. If I am not comfortable I won't say a word. If I am then you'll hear my mouth. I won't talk your ear off but I'll definitely like to hold a conversation.

Now, when asked to talk in front of a crowd of people my FEAR keeps my 🤐 SHUT. I would find ways to get out of having to talk to a room full of people. I can't say that I don't know why it is because I do. It all stems from my childhood. Hell, everything stems from our childhood or tragic moment, doesn't it. Im Just saying.

My fear of public speaking began when I was in the 3rd Grade. I'll admit it, I was a talker. I didn't shut up for nothing. I participated in plays. I was one of the first ones to raise my hand because I knew the answers, I always wanted to read for the class. I enjoyed expressing what I knew until it got me into trouble. When it was time for Parent Teacher Conferences my teacher told my mom the only issue she has with me is that I TALK TOO MUCH! My mother wasn't so happy with me. She gave me a long talk and told me to " Stop running your mouth in class, school is for you to learn not just for you to be running your mouth"

So, I listened and I stopped talking. My confidence went down. I didn't want to participate in any school plays or class room activities. My participation grade dropped drastically from that point on. Each school year it got worse. Even in college it was hard to do presentations because I became a nervous wreck when it came to talking in front of a class.

I remember being put into a class because they thought something was wrong with me. I was pulled out for some type of class. I believe it was a english or reading class where we had to read and go over things. It wasn't that I didn't know the work I just didn't have the drive to do it anymore. I didn't want to be the motor mouth or know it all anymore.

One year I was placed in a spelling bee challenge because I passed all my spelling test and I knew all the words. However, we had to go on a stage and prove in front of the entire school. I purposely spelled Spaghetti wrong so that I can sit down. I was laughed at because I spelled it wrong and boy oh boy I wasn't able to live it down. Little did they know I spelled it wrong on purpose. I knew all the words that was presented. I would have won the trophy but what was the point.

I know that sucks but it's what I told myself to make it through school (What was the point) . I still got good grades and made the Honor Roll but the one thing I didn't do well at anymore was classroom participation. In college I kinda made up for it because I had to talk but I made sure I sat in the back and I wasn't as noticeable. I'd do presentations first only so that I can get them over with. During a presentation my body goes through an anxiety attack. First it starts with my heart racing, followed by sweaty hands. Then, my mouth gets extremely dry. I can barely talk. I want to run and hide. It seems like time has slowed down and everyone is judging me. I can't take everyone looking at me. So I talk faster and faster. The professors always say " Keena slow down and take your time" I'd slow down briefly and then I speed up just so I can sit down and feel normal again.

My fear still remains the same. I still talk but like I said not as much and only when I'm comfortable. I plan on shifting my fear and talking as much as I want to so that I can educate people. I feel that speaking is apart of my life and who I am. I know it may bother some while others appreciate it. I don't talk to talk annoy people. I talk to express myself like everyone else

Slowly but surely I will reduce my fears. I will speak in front of large crowds and I will not care what others think. I'm here for a reason and Speaking is apart of my Purpose

Be You! Live Your Purpose! Overcome Your Fears!

Autism

Overcoming A Fear of Speaking ….But I Talk Too Much

Gallery

Today, We decided to food shop, clean, relax, play games, go to the movies, and do lunch. Which won't be all in that order but it's going to take place today.

He's so much taller than I am. I miss him being my size or smaller. I'm glad he's back home. I've missed him being home. He came back a little anxious about school and friendships but we worked out his worries. I make sure I make it easy for him to come to me with anything he has going on in his mind. I try my best not to be his therapist but be his Mom with a lot of understanding.

He appreciates it. I'm glad my own personal and professional growth has changed me enough to be a better person for him.

He will always be one of my reasons why I do what I do. I love being his Mom 😊

The Emoji Movies was good. Go Check it out.

Autism

Mother & Son

Image

A year ago I was diagnosed with Hyperthyriodism. It’s a condition that runs in the family and apparently a lot of my friends wish they had because when your levels are up you can eat whatever you want but never gain weight. You’ll actually lose several pounds in a day. The most I lost in a day was 7lbs and I’m a week Some people with Hyperthyriodism do but I don’t. The like the weightloss aspect of the disease but I don’t think they could handle having insomnia, racing heart beat, hot flashes, and the wonderful bouts of itching and rashes. Oh wait I for got feeling anxious and a little depressed. 

Which is why I’m writing this post. I spoke to a really good friend who knows me well and loves to agree to disagree with me. I was telling her how I’ve been feeling lately and how I can’t shake feeling sad all the time. I then realized it’s been this way since September. So she’s suggesting I go see my doctor. Of course I’m disagreeing with her and saying maybe I need to see a therapist. I then proceed to tell her how stressed out I’ve been due to party planning and all the other responsibilities I have to take care of. She then says I bet it’s your thyroid levels that’s making you feel like that. A  💡 bulb went off and I realized it makes so much sense. I’ve been trying all natural remedies to control my condition and so far it’s been working. However, when you add on stress and driking too much caffeine it’s a disaster waiting to happen. My levels are still up and I do have my prescribed medicine on hand. So I’ll take them until I get better. 

Sometimes you need that one friend to remind you of what you should already know and realize. 

Thanks Lori!!! 

I love you. It was fun agreeing to disagree with you. True friends can do that with you. 

Keena's Moments

My Levels are up! 

Gallery