This Quote resonates with Me.

I realized that it’s not about my surroundings. Its me. I’m thinking I’ll be better off changing the things and people that I’m around but I must change myself.

As a therapist I tell clients and friends all the time, take yourself out of the equation and meet and see the person for where they are at. No one is the same nor think the same. So we have to be willing to remove self to truly see people for where they are at.

I’m guilty of not seeing people for where they are at all the time but I am learning to. Everything is a process.

Blessings. Just my thoughts 😊

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Keena's Moments, psychology, Reflections, spirituality

So I Am Changing Myself.

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When growing  up you learn how to make patterns. You learn how to make simple patterns to complex patterns. You make short patterns even long ones. You make extended patterns and even make a new pattern.

What’s the use of patterns? Think about it. 🤔How often do we use patterns? ❤️💙❤️💙❤️

Does the knowledge of patterns prepare us for the patterns we endure in life.

Now in life we experience patterns. We experience many patterns. We can go through simple patterns like the ones we learn in school and this can consist of our thinking, daily routines , how we handle small situations, and the little quirks about us. Then we have our more complex patterns and these patterns, are our relationships, money, and life. The complex patterns happen as we get older. We can choose to add on to these patterns, omit from them or create an entirely new pattern.

These past few months the theme around me seem to be breaking and creating new patterns. I’ve been breaking patterns and habits and so have many of my friends as well as clients. I’ve found that many people repeat patterns because the outcome is always the same making it familiar and easy to manage. Some people don’t want to break these patterns because of it’s familiarity. What is familiar, helps us feel safe and secure. It’s because we know what’s next.

I use to love familiarity. Always knowing what was happening next helped me be in control. So repeating wasn’t so bad as long as I knew the outcome and I was in control. However, I realized it was a problem, because of this pattern I didn’t know how to adapt to new things being placed on my path. I’d have panic attacks and start thinking the worse possible things ever. I’d cry for days, wanted to be alone, and didn’t know how I was going to adapt. I realized that I needed to change and to learn new patterns of thinking. It all started with my thinking. Once I changed my thinking I changed my patterns. I added and omitted what was or wasn’t working. I felt like a new person. I love change now and love creating new patterns.

There are some patterns I still repeat because I haven’t quite changed that part of thinking that controls this particular behavior. But once I change my thinking, I will create a new behavior and then add to my pattern.

Some patterns are okay to repeat but it must be healthy patterns. Understand that Opportunities may be missed if you stay in a pattern because of its predictability.  If you want change, change your patterns that causes unwanted behaviors.

psychology, Reflections, spirituality

Patterns 

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For some reason my theme for these past few weeks is “I do it because of my kids”. There are many things in life we do for our kids. We make sure they have, are well taken care of, and pretty much don’t want for anything. We all want the best for our children and want our children to see us in a good way. 

Well sorry to burst your bubble no parent is perfect. We all make mistakes. I know I make them. 

I acknowledge my mistakes, I accept them, I learn from them, and I make the necessary changes to be a better person and parent. 

So many people around me are making decisions based on what they believe their children will think of them or how they don’t want to disappoint their kids.

Don’t make decisions based on your own perceptions. I think our children would rather see us happy than miserable. 

Be Happy 😊 

psychology

Don’t Blame it On The Kids 

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Today is Justin’s Dad Birthday! He called him early this morning to wish him a Happy Birthday. I remember when he was about six years old he’d repeatedly say our age and our birthdays back to back…

He’d say Daddy’s Birthday is December 6 and Mommy’s Birthday is October 18. Daddy is older than Mommy. Mommy is 28 and Daddy is 31. 

Justin didn’t care where he said this at. 

I was just happy that he remembered our birthdays. 

Today is his Dad’s  Birthday and I’m wishing him a Blessed and Wonderul Birthday. He’s A Great Dad to Justin and I love the bond they share…

Happy Birthday Justin!!!  

PS Justin is named after his dad 

Justin, His Dad, his sister and cousin 

In Canada… Picture take my Mommy Sabrina 

psychology

It’s His Dad’s Birthday 

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psychology

A Quote by Ellis. 

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So Justin and my niece told me that I’m on my phone too much. We went to visit her because she’s home from college for a few days. When she left for school Justin was shorter than her and now he’s five inches taller. Again, he’s going to be tall like his dad. 

Here’s some photos from our visit since I’m on the phone too much

Autism, psychology, spirituality

Our Night 

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The word Change has been a common theme in my life since Spring. I made many changes since then and many changes have occurred. I took my health into my hands and lost over 60lbs, I ended a relationship, I lost my dad, I’m still grieving over the lost of a dear friend whom I miss very much,  a good friend of mine moved to another state, I met my fathers side of the family for the first time, and I made a mends with someone I disliked. There  are more changes that has taken place in my life and at first I didn’t accept them but I do now. I realized that I’m changing and as I change the things and people around me will change. 

Who likes changes?  

That quote up above ☝🏽speaks to my current changing situation. I’m letting people go as I change.  I’m seeing that my season with some people has come to an end. We served our purpose in each other’s lives and now it’s time to let go. 

By the way love hurts to an extent and life does go on. 

When I was a little girl  my mom would say to me when I told her I have a new friend.

” You don’t have friends you have acquaintances” 

I didn’t understand at that time what it meant. I do now. I discovered it this year that:

Acquaintances come and go or stay forever depending upon the relationship you have with them. Friends are rare and few. Friends accept and ride through the storms with you. They make sure you’re aware, tells you the truth, and accept you. They don’t put you down for their own personal gain. Acquaintances do. Acquaintances come in all forms. They can be people who you interact with daily. It doesn’t mean that they are your friend. 

Think about it………….. 

Years ago I hated changes. I would cry and get upset when a change happened because I was not in control. It was all about control for me ten years ago. I had to control every aspect of my life because if I didn’t an unwanted unexpected event or thing would happen. I hated that with a passion. However, through trials I’ve learned how to deal with those changes. Not everything is going to be perfect and go the way you want them to. I learned how to go with the flow of my changes. I stopped fighting the currents of my waves. When I learned how to go with flow life got much easier. Life could have also gotten easier because I was a psych major at the time  and learned a lot about people. While learning about human behavior and why we do what we do. I learned about myself. Don’t get me wrong I’m still learning and have more changes to go through but I know my past changes helped me get to where I am today. 

Change is also a theme in many of my friends life. As well as family members. Come to think about it change is a constant theme in every ones life. I’m seeing people placing themselves repeatedly in a situation and change is not occurring (I’ve done that before and maybe doing it now 🤔)…Some people don’t make changes due to fear, control, not knowing what’s next, being lazy,  and lack of faith.  Sometimes you have to be the change in order for things to change. You have to change your thinking. You have to change who you confide in. Change your friends/circle. You have to change your environment. You have to change whatever needs to be changed in order for things to flow. 

As a new friend said to me last week (I’m sure my mom would say he’s an acquaintance ..lol… Time will tell). 

” This is your journey, embrace it and love it”; ” Sometimes you have to lose things to gain more” 

I’m embracing my journey and is falling in love with it. I’m ready to lose so that I can gain more. 

Think about the changes in your life. Are you ready to make them? 

Check out these quotes about changes. 

psychology

Change 

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