“Take a deep breath! Sigh. Now take another deep breath.” That’s what I had to tell myself after Justin told me what a friend of his said to him. His friend told him, “Your autism is the reason why you’re stupid!” I took several deep breaths. I was pissed and angry. Justin was really hurt after hearing this. He didn’t want to play with anyone after hearing what his friend said to him. I was so upset that I spoke to his friend’s mother. She was very apologetic but it seemed like her child could have cared less about what he said and how he made Justin feel. It took Justin a few days to get over what was said to him. He asked me, “Why can’t people accept that everyone is different and not the same?” He also asked me, “How do I get them to accept me the way I accept me?” I took a deep breath again and reminded him that just like how everyone is different, everyone doesn’t think the same and isn’t brought up with the same morals, manners, and respect. I also told him that as long as he accepts who he is then that’s all that really matters. However, he is an adolescent and wants to be accepted by his peers, and I know this will remain a challenge for us.
Before I start going on about it being not a good day, I must admit it really feels good to write. I miss writing. Today appeared to be a really rough day for both Justin and I. My day was dealing with work gossip and drama and his day ended with fighting. At work I’m a professional and I avoid work drama at all costs, but it annoys me that somehow I’m one of the few talked about by the majority. It took many whoosah’s to let go of what I heard. But I did I realize that not everyone is going to want to see you succeed in life, even though I wish that everyone finds success in theirs.
As soon as I got home. I reflected on positive words said to me by a dear friend. It helped me feel better and proceed with my evening. As I was preparing dinner Justin calls me, calm at first, and then he starts crying. Any time I hear him crying my cape comes on. He said a friend was bothering him and then slapped him in the face. I went off. I told Justin to hit the boy back. Well I said a little more than that. I’ll admit I was cursing up a storm.
I hate when kids take his kindness for weakness. I teach Justin to ignore and to try not to fight if he can walk away. I’m thinking I should reconsider what I was teaching him. I see the anger that resides in him. I know that when he really gets angry, he can hurt someone. I’m sure it doesn’t help him when I’m upset and yelling about his situation, especially being that he doesn’t want to hit people. He dislikes hitting because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. I love that quality in him as well as dislike it. I just wish he one day would give people back what they give to him. Sigh……