Once again! I’m awake in the middle of the night and need to sleep because I’ve been without good sleep a few nights this week. I have a lot going on. As I said before I’m a teacher and a therapist. So, I work a lot.  I’m also planning my 35th Birthday party. Which is in 12 days. Well the party is my birthday is in 8 days. I’m so indecisive over what I actually want to do. I just know that I want everyone who attends to enjoy themselves and be happy. 

I could also be up because my body is use to getting up around this time and because I have a lot of stuff on my mind. What to do? What to do? Hmmm, I know what to do I just haven’t done it yet… I do need to make some changes. I need to change the way I am there for people. I bend over backwards for people. I give a lot of my time to people. Have I ever really gotten things in return. No. Well not from them. Others? Yes! I don’t want to be selfish but I need to be. I need to examine every relationship I have with people and question. 

Do they give me what I give them? 

Do they always answer when I text in time of need?  

Do they go out their way for me? 

Now that’s the question. Do they go out their way for me?  I’ve honestly only had maybe a few people go out their way for me.  I get it, not everyone is like me. I go above and beyond to make people happy… Their happiness is what makes me happy. But…… 

Hmmm, I’m thinking to much right now. It’s 3am. I need to be asleep. 

I know what I will do. 

I’ll just meditate. 

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from your thoughts to get an answer. 

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spirituality

I guess I’ll meditate

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